Like Telling Your Perfume-Soaked Aunt She Looks Hot: The Invicta Pro Diver: It Ain’t That Bad

Yeah, I held my nose while writing that headline, but I can’t deny it. Yes, yes, I know, of course, most Invicta watches are the stuff of immediate derision, and rightfully so. From the company’s preposterous tall tales on home shopping networks (“Russian Divers” or “Flame Fusion crystals,” anyone?), to doing the Swiss tap dance for about a decade, to watches that actually are 50, 55, 60, 65 fucking millimeters wide (sans crowns!), this company, which actually manufactures nothing but farms out their assembly work to countries and companies around the globe, remains the king of actual clown watches, style wise. If for any reason you truly believe a 63mm Inivicta Grand Arsenal somehow looks even remotely normal on your list, we think you have bigger problems than a complete lack of taste and self-awareness.