Ever buy a car, but first went to watch a YouTube review of the model you like from some guy in his mother’s basement before making up your mind? I haven’t, either.

I assume I look at wristwatches differently than a lot of people. All of the folks I know who work (and that’s the operative word: work) in the actual wristwatch industry agree with me that YouTube watch reviewers are clown shows. This week saw the first few days of the Watches And Wonders live and virtual wristwatch event in Geneva, and the hysterical response to it from so many of the self-styled “show hosts” has been uproarious. This time, we’re not talking about the usual lame attempts at humor (sound effects, arched eyebrows) aimed at their subscribers.

Rolex’s new 2021 wares caused most of the ire. Most of these faux experts spent most of the past week making predictions about what the world’s most popular brand would release … and, of course, none of them were even close to being correct. Federico Iossa of “Federico Talks Watches” had an absolute cow, but not after his own predictions ranked went belly up. After, of course, hyping his online watch store delraywatch.com (you’ll see a pattern form here), he blasted the tweaks made to existing Rolex models (“boring”) and came up with this mature summing up of the situation: “If it wasn’t for their marketing department, these guys would have gone bankrupt in the sixties.”



Think of it: That bitter statement was about the brand that accounted for 25 percent of Swiss watch sales last year. What happens after Federico stops speaking just has to be seen; full of rage for reasons we can’t comprehend, he swings his pouting head away from the camera like a toddler who didn’t get the toy airplane he wanted at Target. It’s a side-splittingly funny YouTube moment that now ranks alongside the far-too-old-for-it guy complaining about the delayed release of the original Oculus Rift; it just has to be seen and belly-laughed at. The guys at the office will love this when you pass around your cell on Monday.

Others who lambasted the Rolex releases were “The Time Teller” (hey, he’s got his own online watch shop and Amazon link page, too! Who would have dreamed?), Standard Time, Bark And Jack (bemoaning a two-tone Explorer with gold … hey, Bark And Jack sells straps and accessories, too!), and on the list goes. They all, of course, ignore the fact that Rolex continues to sell every model in more traditional styles and sizes, but hey, please click and subscribe, it really does help a lot.

Here’s the thing about Rolex: Ariel Adams of A Blog To Watch (I finally tracked down this quote) said it best: “If you look at Rolex watches over time, they are more about evolution rather than revolution.” Rolex produces watches of exemplary quality. Their consistency is the key to their popularity: The Datejust. The Submariner. The Daytona. Literal decades pass, and watch buyers still gravitate to the time-tested quality of the watches. The brand makes minor tweaks – better movements, slightly different case sizes, improved bezels – in a never-ending effort to keep their wares both traditional and improving at the same time. Those people lining up outside the Rolex AD near me this weekend show how much influence these YouTubers actually have. That’s actually healthy: Your teenage son may ogle a bikini-clad TikTok influencer, but you sure as hell wouldn’t want him dating one.

All that’s evident is this: If you know watches and love the hobby … what do you think you’re going learn from these “show hosts” on YouTube? Here’s what you’ll get: Links to the world’s most feeble “watch shopping sites,” which make them no better than home shopping networks like ShopHQ and WOW ever were.

If you’re on YouTube, you should be watching The Watch Repair Channel, because you can actually learn something. If you wanna stay on YouTube, look for that cat video the lady at your office told you about. At least when you watch Henry The Calico play an Elton John song on the piano, you won’t get the queasy feeling that someone’s trying to take advantage of you.

Their consistency is the key to their popularity: The Datejust. The Submariner. The Daytona. Literal decades pass, and watch buyers still gravitate to the time-tested quality of the watches.

You nailed it with this statement, T.

Despite what that fat bastard says, Rolex definitely would not have crapped out in the 60s. True, they are heavily marketed but they are a juggernaut regardless.

The recent proliferation of homages, most of which are Rolex shows that they don't need to "surprise" the YouTube experts.

With the update to the Explorer, watch and see how fast two tone comes back into style again.

JAS1125 wrote: ↑

Sat Apr 10, 2021 6:08 pm

Their consistency is the key to their popularity: The Datejust. The Submariner. The Daytona. Literal decades pass, and watch buyers still gravitate to the time-tested quality of the watches.

You nailed it with this statement, T.

Despite what that fat bastard says, Rolex definitely would not have crapped out in the 60s. True, they are heavily marketed but they are a juggernaut regardless.

The recent proliferation of homages, most of which are Rolex shows that they don't need to "surprise" the YouTube experts.

With the update to the Explorer, watch and see how fast two tone comes back into style again.

I heard all kinds of ridiculous predictions: They're ending the Cellini line! The Explorer gets new sizes and colors! The new 36mm Datejust can make milkshakes!

I rest my case.