What does your watch say about you?

The place to bitch and moan about various watch related topics
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MKTheVintageBloke
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Re: What does your watch say about you?

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » Mon May 03, 2021 4:17 pm

Here's my take on this, based on observations in daily life and the news...

Category 1 - Patek, VC, Breguet - The Red Tsar and the Russian Oligarchs
Comrade Vladimir Vladimirovich and his court are fond of exceptional watches. PP, VC and Breguet create just that, which makes them worth every stolen rouble.

Category 2 - Breitling - The Ukrainian Nouveau-Riche
If you're a Ukrainian nouveu-riche, you want a bling statement. The high polishing on Breitlings is an excellent way to show the populace by the local Orthodox church that the filthy rich king of life has arrived to ask for divine graces in profiting some more.
Also, if you're a seasoned Ukrainian businessman, you might want a two-tone or gold. Goes well with the leather jacket worn on bare skin, and the thick gold chain, not to mention the indiscrete glint of gold with every smile revealing the golden teeth.
Breitling is often paired with a bad "Gopnik King" haircut.

Category 3 - AP and Hublot - Perfume and The Walking Dread
If you are the Slavic Milo Minderbinder, you undoubtedly spill cologne on yourself by the bucket. You do want a watch that stands out. That's because in a crowd, no one can tell who reeks of so much fucking cologne, and if they see you wearing one of these, they'll know and thus will be able to maintain a distance that goes easy on their noses.

Category 4 - Rolex - The Moron So, you've just inherited an enormous trust fund. You want to make a statement of that with your watch. Nothing will stimulate your douchebaggery like getting treated like scum by boutique personnel, and nothing will tickle the G-spot of your vanity like a year-long waitlist.
And if you go to the forums and first read the term "grey market" without much further reading, the dealers will treat you to an anal orgasm. You'll be financially arsefucked, but happy with your GMT-Master II or steel Daytona.

Category 5 - IWC - "I Read Men Mags" Because you'll hardly see IWC advertising elsewhere, if you're not a WIS, then you probably try hard to make a pose by using GQ or something like that as your holy scripture. Guess what, having class is about manners and having something interesting to say. The first you have to learn, the other can only come from the sum of what you've learned. Reading GQ won't help you with that, neither will buying an IWC. Although if you have class and can buy an IWC, by all means do, they're great.
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!
Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade
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biglove
Posts: 881
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:15 pm

Re: What does your watch say about you?

Post by biglove » Mon May 03, 2021 6:12 pm

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 4:17 pm
Here's my take on this, based on observations in daily life and the news...

Category 1 - Patek, VC, Breguet - The Red Tsar and the Russian Oligarchs
Comrade Vladimir Vladimirovich and his court are fond of exceptional watches. PP, VC and Breguet create just that, which makes them worth every stolen rouble.

Category 2 - Breitling - The Ukrainian Nouveau-Riche
If you're a Ukrainian nouveu-riche, you want a bling statement. The high polishing on Breitlings is an excellent way to show the populace by the local Orthodox church that the filthy rich king of life has arrived to ask for divine graces in profiting some more.
Also, if you're a seasoned Ukrainian businessman, you might want a two-tone or gold. Goes well with the leather jacket worn on bare skin, and the thick gold chain, not to mention the indiscrete glint of gold with every smile revealing the golden teeth.
Breitling is often paired with a bad "Gopnik King" haircut.

Category 3 - AP and Hublot - Perfume and The Walking Dread
If you are the Slavic Milo Minderbinder, you undoubtedly spill cologne on yourself by the bucket. You do want a watch that stands out. That's because in a crowd, no one can tell who reeks of so much fucking cologne, and if they see you wearing one of these, they'll know and thus will be able to maintain a distance that goes easy on their noses.

Category 4 - Rolex - The Moron So, you've just inherited an enormous trust fund. You want to make a statement of that with your watch. Nothing will stimulate your douchebaggery like getting treated like scum by boutique personnel, and nothing will tickle the G-spot of your vanity like a year-long waitlist.
And if you go to the forums and first read the term "grey market" without much further reading, the dealers will treat you to an anal orgasm. You'll be financially arsefucked, but happy with your GMT-Master II or steel Daytona.

Category 5 - IWC - "I Read Men Mags" Because you'll hardly see IWC advertising elsewhere, if you're not a WIS, then you probably try hard to make a pose by using GQ or something like that as your holy scripture. Guess what, having class is about manners and having something interesting to say. The first you have to learn, the other can only come from the sum of what you've learned. Reading GQ won't help you with that, neither will buying an IWC. Although if you have class and can buy an IWC, by all means do, they're great.
Now that’s a proper article. So glad you are here, MK.
"I believe in a God who doesn't need heavy financing." Irwin M. Fletcher, Fletch Lives, 1989
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MKTheVintageBloke
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Re: What does your watch say about you?

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » Tue May 04, 2021 4:47 pm

temerityb wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 4:49 pm
^^^ That's our MK! :trophy:
Yes, indeed I am alive, and while things could be better, I'm here. I am quite alive and kicking, and I am back.
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!
Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade
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MKTheVintageBloke
Posts: 58
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Re: What does your watch say about you?

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » Tue May 04, 2021 4:48 pm

biglove wrote:
Mon May 03, 2021 6:12 pm
Now that’s a proper article. So glad you are here, MK.
Thanks! And I'm glad to be here!
My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!
Donatien Alphonse François, Marquis de Sade
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